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<title>bofur is ugly so im not writing a fic for him. also i know nothing about the hobit so have fun by orphan_account</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29670528">bofur is ugly so im not writing a fic for him. also i know nothing about the hobit so have fun</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Hobbit - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Help, M/M, Pre-The Hobbit, crackship, help x2, i dont know what im doing, ive never read the hobbit, this is for my friend</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:48:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>156</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29670528</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
      <p>i know i said this like 100 times but ive never seen the movies or read the books. jessica tells me about them and i just smile and nod. but idk man the elf dude is kinda hot so uh sure. everything i write is canon now</p>
    </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kíli/Thranduil, Thranduil/Kili</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>bofur is ugly so im not writing a fic for him. also i know nothing about the hobit so have fun</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mot0r_21AC/gifts">Mot0r_21AC</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i know i said this like 100 times but ive never seen the movies or read the books. jessica tells me about them and i just smile and nod. but idk man the elf dude is kinda hot so uh sure. everything i write is canon now</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"man fuck bofur" said the guy who is young and brown haired.</p><p>the blonde twink sighs and throws his comically long hair over his tiny petite man shoulder. "so true king"</p><p>"his name is the sound i make when i through up" the young twunk handsomely growled </p><p>"zoo-wee mama, come here mama lemme whisper in your ear"</p><p>twink guy is now perched over bofur's dead body in a seductive manner</p><p>"its free real estate"</p><p>twunk comes<br/>
"oh my good, you are like so funny my liege"<br/>
he twirls his beard hair like a middleschool girl with a crush on their 20 year old something history teacher fresh out of college</p><p>bofur stares at them, angerily<br/>
"BRO STOP FUCKING ON TOP OF MY DEAD BODY"</p><p>"ur dead tho lol"</p><p>"yeah shut up"</p><p>bofur grrs, more like bogrrrrrrr<br/>
..haha bogey<br/>
gross:)</p><p>and then they fuck</p><p>THE END</p><p>wow so good monarch- BBC times</p><p> </p><p>love you jess, get fucked</p>
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